Some of what we carry started before we were born.
A way of handling money. A silence around certain subjects. A habit of holding everything in, or of never resting. A grief that moved through a family and never quite settled. A move across an ocean, or across the country, that changed everything. Sometimes we can name where these things came from. Often we can’t.
One of the focuses you can choose for a session with me is “something you carry from your family.” Here’s what that means, what it doesn’t, and how I hold it with care.
You don’t need to know your family’s story
Before anything else: you don’t need to know your family history to choose this focus. You don’t need to be close to your family, or in touch with them, or able to explain anything.
Some people are adopted. Some don’t know one or both parents. Some are estranged from their families, for very good reasons. Some were hurt by the people who were supposed to care for them. Some have families they love dearly, and still carry something heavy.
All of that is welcome here. I won’t assume anything about your family. And you never have to tell me what happened.
What does “something you carry from your family” mean?
It means whatever feels true to you. Some examples people bring:
- a pattern that shows up again and again, like worry, perfectionism, or holding back;
- a loss or grief that affected more than one generation;
- the weight of a family role, like being the responsible one, or the one who keeps the peace;
- a family history you only know pieces of;
- a feeling you can’t quite name, that seems older than you.
It doesn’t have to be hard. People also carry good things from their families: strength, humor, faith, recipes, ways of loving. Sometimes it’s both, all tangled together.
When you book, a few words is enough, like “my mother’s side,” “the silence,” or “being the oldest.” You can also leave it blank.
How does Reiki work with what you carry?
In the Reiki tradition, distance Reiki can be sent across time, not only across miles. So in a family session, I send Reiki to you, and to what you carry, wherever it came from.
I write a few words for your focus on a small piece of paper and set it beside me. Then, for twenty minutes, I send Reiki to you and to that.
It goes to you. It doesn’t go to your relatives, living or not. I don’t send Reiki to change anyone else, and I don’t reach out to anyone in your family on your behalf. What I offer is care for the part of it that lives with you now.
Do you connect with ancestors?
Some practitioners describe their work as connecting with ancestors or spirit guides. I don’t set out to do that, and I don’t promise it.
Sometimes, though, something comes up during a session that feels like it’s from beyond me. If that happens, I’ll only share it if you’ve told me you’d like me to. Not everyone wants that, especially when family is complicated, and that’s completely okay.
If I do share something, I’ll tell you plainly what I noticed. I won’t tell you what it means. What you carry, and what you make of it, is yours.
Some people call this “ancestral healing.” Why don’t you?
You may have seen this kind of work called ancestral healing or generational healing. I understand why people use those words. They point to something real: the hope that what was passed down doesn’t have to be carried the same way forever.
I don’t use them, because I don’t want to promise something I can’t. Reiki is a gentle relaxation practice. It isn’t medical or mental health care, and I can’t tell you what a session will change.
Can Reiki heal generational trauma?
I want to give you an honest answer to this.
There’s no research showing that Reiki heals trauma, generational or otherwise. Research on Reiki and trauma is very thin: a few small reports, and no controlled trials that I could find. So I don’t make any claims about it, and I’d be careful with anyone who does.
What I can offer is smaller, and I think still meaningful. Twenty quiet minutes, with what you carry held in care. A place where you don’t have to explain or perform anything. Something that started long before you can, for a little while, not be carried alone.
If you’re living with the effects of trauma, please also look for support from a trauma-informed therapist. Reiki can sit alongside that work. It can’t take its place.
Read more about Reiki and other kinds of care →
What if something comes up?
Family work can stir things. During or after a session, you might feel sadness, anger, relief, tenderness, or nothing at all. Feelings sometimes come up later that day, or the next day.
If they do, be gentle with yourself. Rest if you can. Reach out to someone you trust, or your therapist if you have one. If you need support right away, call or text 988, or text HOME to 741741.
And remember, you can stop a session at any time by texting “stop.” You don’t need a reason.
Common questions
Do I need to tell you about my family? No. A few words is enough, and you can leave it blank.
Will you send Reiki to my parents or grandparents? No. Reiki goes to you, and to what you carry. I only send Reiki to people who asked for it.
What if my family hurt me? You’re welcome here, and you don’t have to explain. The session is for you, not for them, and it doesn’t ask you to forgive, reconnect, or feel any particular way.
What if I’m adopted, or don’t know my family? You’re welcome too. You can bring whatever you carry, including not knowing.
Can this replace therapy? No. Reiki can sit alongside therapy, but it can’t stand in for it.